For the Want of a Social Algorithm

Someday I'm going to learn the trick to the whole "socializing like a normal person" thing. I really hope it's sooner rather than later, but I'm not too optimistic about it. I try to think about it and figure it out, but no solutions ever seem to come. Maybe I need to take some anthropology courses, but then instead of using them to study some far-off people, I could study those around me. I could develop an algorithm for interacting with others. Sigh... if only such an algorithm actually existed...