Lymphomania: The (Hopefully) Last Entry
Well, I've been saying for a while now that I need to finish this series. As I mentioned before, there are some things that, if you don't have to think about anymore, you just don't want to, but I figure this story needs a cap. I hope this is a cap, anyway.
My last post was on August 30, 2011. That was almost eight months ago. It doesn't seem like that long... In that post, I gave the news that the doc said he thought I was fine. He didn't deem me "in remission" at the time since the inflammation from the radiation had kept him from making that determination. Three months later, I had another PET scan, which showed a decrease in tumor size as the inflammation had decreased, and he said that if the next PET scan (to take place in another three months) was good, then I could get the IV port removed. Three months later, in February, I got that scan. The most notable statement was the last one of his summary: "No new areas of abnormal tracer uptake identified to suggest a recurrent disease or new disease." The tumor of scar tissue that was left measured 3.63 x 1.76 cm. I went from something the size of a Coke can in my chest to a lump just a bit longer and skinnier than the outer joint of my thumb. Simply insane... So on March 16, 2012, roughly one year and four months after the initial diagnosis, the IV port came out.
So now there is a good possibility that, aside from some tests, I'm done. I'll have another PET scan in June, at which point I would have been in remission for about a year, and right now I'll have them at four month intervals. For how long I'll stay at that interval and for how long they'll be PET as opposed to CT scans (the doc said early on that at some point I'd switch over to CT) I do not know. Right now, I'm just keeping my eye on that five year mark. As long as the June test goes well, I'll have four more to go.
A lot can happen in a year and a half. Part of it actually seems a little unreal to me now. I had cancer. Cancer. I had something that was going to kill me. Part of me feels like it's trying to forget that it ever happened -- that part that eventually grows accustomed to whatever comes, that starts to take everything, no matter how big, for granted given enough time, and I'm both fascinated and horrified that that can happen. At the very least, I will always have the scar on my shoulder as a reminder. I can kind of understand why people get tattoos to commemorate events. Heh -- and I guess I kind of have that, too. I'll always have the dots they tattooed on my body for the radiation treatments. So that's two physical reminders. I hope I never forget or take life for granted.
And you never should, either. You do not have as much time as you think, and whatever semblance of control you think you have in life is an illusion. Anything could happen at any time. I will tell you this: things don't bother me quite as much as they used to, and I'm not as fearful as I used to be. Whatever comes along, whatever bad thing pops up, in the vast majority of cases, it will go away. If tomorrow you were to total your car or lose your job, that problem would eventually go away. Bad things have happened and will continue to happen; that is the nature of things. And when they do, you will come through the other side. It's not the end of the world. Just keep breathing, have faith in God, and keep taking the next step.
My last post was on August 30, 2011. That was almost eight months ago. It doesn't seem like that long... In that post, I gave the news that the doc said he thought I was fine. He didn't deem me "in remission" at the time since the inflammation from the radiation had kept him from making that determination. Three months later, I had another PET scan, which showed a decrease in tumor size as the inflammation had decreased, and he said that if the next PET scan (to take place in another three months) was good, then I could get the IV port removed. Three months later, in February, I got that scan. The most notable statement was the last one of his summary: "No new areas of abnormal tracer uptake identified to suggest a recurrent disease or new disease." The tumor of scar tissue that was left measured 3.63 x 1.76 cm. I went from something the size of a Coke can in my chest to a lump just a bit longer and skinnier than the outer joint of my thumb. Simply insane... So on March 16, 2012, roughly one year and four months after the initial diagnosis, the IV port came out.
So now there is a good possibility that, aside from some tests, I'm done. I'll have another PET scan in June, at which point I would have been in remission for about a year, and right now I'll have them at four month intervals. For how long I'll stay at that interval and for how long they'll be PET as opposed to CT scans (the doc said early on that at some point I'd switch over to CT) I do not know. Right now, I'm just keeping my eye on that five year mark. As long as the June test goes well, I'll have four more to go.
A lot can happen in a year and a half. Part of it actually seems a little unreal to me now. I had cancer. Cancer. I had something that was going to kill me. Part of me feels like it's trying to forget that it ever happened -- that part that eventually grows accustomed to whatever comes, that starts to take everything, no matter how big, for granted given enough time, and I'm both fascinated and horrified that that can happen. At the very least, I will always have the scar on my shoulder as a reminder. I can kind of understand why people get tattoos to commemorate events. Heh -- and I guess I kind of have that, too. I'll always have the dots they tattooed on my body for the radiation treatments. So that's two physical reminders. I hope I never forget or take life for granted.
And you never should, either. You do not have as much time as you think, and whatever semblance of control you think you have in life is an illusion. Anything could happen at any time. I will tell you this: things don't bother me quite as much as they used to, and I'm not as fearful as I used to be. Whatever comes along, whatever bad thing pops up, in the vast majority of cases, it will go away. If tomorrow you were to total your car or lose your job, that problem would eventually go away. Bad things have happened and will continue to happen; that is the nature of things. And when they do, you will come through the other side. It's not the end of the world. Just keep breathing, have faith in God, and keep taking the next step.
Labels: lymphomania
posted by jblee at 6:02 PM
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